The Package Myth: When Blokes Obsess Over Hardware – Part 1

Well, this section would have to be split into parts, right? Such is the depth and breadth of the single most important organ in male anatomy, according to every man. Yep, I'm referring to a man's brain... what were you thinking?

The brain is the main driver when it comes to penis behaviour, which—surprisingly—is not the steel rod always ready for action that the world of fantasy has led men and women to believe.

To be fair, the external male genitalia has always been represented in history and myth as the centre of man's masculinity, and this goes back at least 42,000 years with the unearthing of an anatomically correct sculpted phallus in Mongolia, followed 30,000 years ago by the discovery of a decorated phallus from the Vogelherd cave in Germany.

A few thousand years later, the phallus takes centre stage in Ancient Greek and Roman culture, with gods and satyrs depicted as erect phalluses—symbols of fertility and strength. Egypt, India, the Far East—you name it, there's certainly erect phallus art stuck somewhere.

Things haven't exactly evolved in modern times either, with phallus graffiti on walls and spoken references to it being hard, big, girthy, thick, and so on.

Imagine that! Obsessing over an organ that is certainly a feat of biological engineering but that, according to popular culture across the world, is somehow so much more. For some reason, the penis is directly correlated with what it means to be a "man" and by extension (of the culture, not the penis—there is no such thing as penis elongation, so stop looking at those adverts on porn sites!) with bravery, power, physical and cognitive superiority, the ability to read maps, wield a sword, hold office, use tools, write books, design machines, fly to the Moon, invent the offside rule... all things any gender is capable of, by the way, but apparently the transcendental penis can do it better, bigger, harder than anybody else.

So it's not surprising that men—and women as well—put so much focus on the external male reproduction system, to a point that can be detrimental, if not downright damaging, to the wellbeing (both physical and mental) of penis owners and those who enjoy them.

Why is this? Because the only penis that counts in our culture is an erect one, and when it doesn't behave according to the wishes of its owner, the house of cards it's holding "up" comes tumbling down alongside what it means to be a man.

The truth is, as much as we've come to link a man's power to his erection, the organ behaves as it wants—of its own volition, with a mind of its own—and no amount of threatening, cajoling, or begging will change that.

What can change is our relationship with the penis, and this can start by understanding how it works in the first place, which—not surprisingly—penis owners are usually unaware of.

(Fret not, vulva owners are even less knowledgeable when it comes to "lady" parts.....)

So if we want to have a better relationship with the penis, we'd better start to understand what it is, how it works, how it thinks, and what makes it tick. Think of this as being on a date—except this time, you can't just get it drunk and hope for the best. This one requires listening and a willlingness to learn and understand - not just nodding politely and thinking of football results instead. Who knew?

Next time - Anatomy of the male reproductive system or sausages and burritos