…..and what about the Coach?

The Sex Coach is a champion for the Client, providing guidance, suggestions, resources that help the Client find their truth and make positive change in their sexual life.

How difficult can it be for a Client to open up to a stranger with a note pad and a knowing smile, find the courage to talk about embarrassment, uneasiness, express the conflict between their feelings and what our self-righteous and fearful society tell them they should be and feel? The answer is …very difficult.

A Sex Coach brings a component that is about re-framing what the Client thinks of themselves as a sexual being, removing stigma, shame, lifting the veil of ignorance, myths, fads with clear, transparent, evidence-supported knowledge, the facts that blow away the malicious, covert or unintentional, lies and manipulation by peers, society, media, politics, and religion.

A tall order for a Client, but what about the Coach?

As Sex Coaches we must be willing to put ourselves under scrutiny first, identifying those unconscious biases, those beliefs we hold onto tightly, that shame, that guilt we hide under the protection of the ‘I am the Sex Coach’ professional persona.

We brought them to light, exposed them and in doing so exposed us, looked at them in a non-judgemental way, accepting them as a part of who we are, still loving and being willing to challenge ourselves, having the courage to break away from these beliefs and grow as human beings and coaches.

Only now can we listen, really listen to what the Client is telling us, in that nervous, small voice or the boisterous one or the assertive one, every word hiding fears and insecurities like the ones we have and have conquered and accepted.

Was it scary? Did it hurt? Yes and yes…. and I would not have it any other way.

Will this make it easier for you to open up to me as your Coach? I cannot answer that, it is not my story to tell.

I like to think that the shared human experience of challenging a narrative that does not serve you, will be the nudge you need to say ‘I am here because I want to be the best version of my sexual self’.